Pity Party

I am not in a good mood.

Haven't been since Monday.

Not since I learned from Facebook what a wonderful day with the family and yummy dinner my daughter in law had on Sunday. You see, she doesn't consider me part of her family. I am only her husband's mother. She sees no need for me to be there on Sundays.

So I am not included.

And her husband doesn't care either.

But he is against me adopting.

Because he said it would make things worse.

I said why and for who?

He said I would be bringing another kid into the mix (they have 2, my beautiful grandsons who I get to see once a week by appointment).

He said that would mean there would be another kid around on the holidays (I am invited for holidays).

He said I was too old to be running around after a kid (hmm, but I am not too old to shovel snow myself).

He said what do you want a do-over?

He said, so when you are not invited over for something you think you should be, what are you going to say, don't you want to see your sister?

I said well at least I wouldn't be sitting home alone.

And then I dropped it.

That was in February. I have never talked about it to him since then. But that is when I decided to move forward with the adoption. He probably, no, he definitely thinks I forgot all about it. It breaks my heart that I can't talk to him about it. It's amazing how much a heart can break over and over and again.

Like it does every Sunday.